The Konmari Method™ is like a secret weapon to quiet the victim story.
It wasn't until this year that I could admit to myself that I had a victim story. I was listening to a podcast called Victim Mentality vs. Vulnerability from The Life Coach School with Brooke Castillo. In her podcast, she explains that as soon as we start to feel defensive about a certain narrative, we may be in the victim mentality. The victim mentality requires blame, which in turn makes someone else a villain. The problem with this story is that it is entirely disempowering for the victim.
When I first heard this, my response was, "Well, you don't know MY story!" Certainly as a child, we can get victimized. But what I realized from Brooke Castillo is that the archetype of the victim doesn't have to, nor should it, live on in us for the rest of our lives. Essentially, the thoughts around a victim narrative do not make us more attractive to the things we do want in life. Conversely, focusing on what Sparks Joy seems to spark more and more joy:
What does this have to do with a tidied home? Recently, like a swarm of bees, some unresolved issues from my childhood came swarming at me. These were issues that I hadn't thought about in years that were suddenly staring me right in the face ready to sting me. I felt sick to my stomach. Using the best tool in my I-want-to-feel-better-toolkit, I started to tidy my home. I needed to see it reset back to beautiful. I regained clarity and admitted that my happiness had been held hostage by a victim story. Just this small acknowledgement was enough to absolutely transform my day. I examined the thoughts I had about the whole event, and realized that I could re-envision this whole scenario with myself in a position of power! With this new realization, I started to feel my anxiety soften and confidence take hold.
By resetting my home to its organized state, I showed myself a reflection of who I really was-- a person in control of my own environment and life. Khalil Gibran wrote, "Your house is your larger body", and "Your house shall not be an anchor but a mast." We are not tied down to our homes, instead we use their shelter to support our dreams and goals as we navigate through the world.